I've been meaning to write about this issue for some time now. Unfortunately, this subject is incredibly unpopular today; even in the church (It seems whenever the subject of sexual purity is brought up in a conversation, people tend to become uncomfortable and start to feel as though they are being judged.) I am not here to judge anyone. I am in no position to do that because I am simply a sinner saved by grace who would be nothing apart from my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. However, I truly desire young people to know that sex is worth waiting for.
Over the years, I have become passionate about sexual purity as I have listened to many young ladies explain how they carry deep emotional scars due to giving themselves away much too early.
Sexual purity and abstinence are old fashioned and out dated concepts to the majority; even amongst evangelicals. This is why a disturbing, twisted, and pornographic movie, such as "50 Shades of Grey" will be celebrated this weekend by millions. Young people are being bombarded with sexual temptation in every corner of their lives; especially in this instantaneously gratifying digital age of technology. Anything somebody wants to see is just a click away. A person doesn't have to go looking for pornography; pornography comes looking for them through pop-ups on computer screens, highway billboards, commercials, etc.
Unfortunately, sex education comes from the media more than anywhere else. I believe the church has done a very poor job of speaking openly and honestly about sex, and the consequences when practiced outside of marriage.
In high school, I was told by a fellow peer who happened to be in my youth group that "sex is overrated." As one man put it, "sex is like an itch, if you need it scratched, go get it scratched." If sex was practiced more inside of marriage between one man and one woman, the way in which it was intended, it would feel like anything but casual and overrated. I speak from experience, it's the furthest thing from that.
You see, a big part of the problem is that we have an enemy of our souls. He has sold our society a big fat lie; that sex is nothing special and there is nothing wrong with having casual sex when desired. "Describing sex as “casual” is like describing the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel as a “nice little doodle.” (Matt Walsh)
God is the author of sex. He didn't make this incredibly fun, deeply intimate, and thrilling act (just a few words to describe it) and then think “oh, but I don't want anyone to enjoy it!" No!! That's what Satan wants you to think though, that God is boring and that He doesn't want anything good for you! He just makes a bunch of rules, and then distances Himself. The reason God wants us to save ourselves sexually for a marital relationship between one man and one woman, is because He KNOWS the devastation, and emotional scars that sex outside of marriage can, and will bring! He knows that when a man and woman have sex, life is made; an eternal soul is brought into existence. Even if the relationship doesn't last, those two people are connected in a deep way forever, even if they don't have a baby together.
There is a "oneness" that takes place during sex. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24 ESV) When a man and woman have sex, whether they believe it or not, whether they like it or not, they connect not only physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. This is why God designed this precious, fragile gift for the covenant relationship of marriage.
The enemy of your soul doesn't tell you that after you give every part of yourself sexually to another person who isn't your spouse, that a part of you will forever be with that person. That when/if you get married, it could bring hurt/pain into your marriage that is difficult to work through. That when you look into the eyes of the man/woman you marry with pain and regret you have to tell them that you aren't a virgin; and that someone else has known and experienced the deepest part of you. Partners tend to have less respect for one another if they've had sex prior to marriage.
People will often say, (I've been told this) "If you wait until marriage to have sex, you will wish that you had more sexual experiences; you will always wonder what it would have been like to have more than one partner; you will have a boring, and dull sex life." My response; I have no regrets.
I am thankful that I had no "experience" on my wedding night, I am thankful that I had no other sexual partner in my life besides my beloved husband, I am thankful that I did not have sex with my husband until our wedding night. But more than anything else, I am SO thankful I can honestly look into my husband's eyes and say, "You are the only one who I've ever given myself to. You are the only one who knows me in this way." And it's definitely not dull and boring! ;-)
To the young woman who may or may not have heard these truths, here ya go;
-You are made in the image of God! "Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness." (Genesis 1:26) Can you even wrap your mind around this? You have an eternal soul; God is eternal; and He made you just the way that you are and He has a purpose for your life!
- You're worthy because of Jesus! He is crazy about you.......He shed His blood for you!
-You don't need a guy to make you feel beautiful; You are breathtaking, just the way you are! "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:13-14)
-You are infinitely loved and valued far more than you will ever understand! Christ loves you so much that He died the most brutal death for you! (John 3:16)
-You are worth waiting for! A man who truly loves you, loves God first. He will want to have sex with you, but WON'T have sex with you until the day you get married! If he has sex with you before then, he loves himself more than you and God!
Many will read this and think; "well, that's great for you, but what if I've had sex outside of marriage?" or "What if I'm married, but my spouse and I were not sexually pure when we married?" Oh how I have exciting news for you!! There is always hope in Christ!! He will give you new beginnings, restore what was once broken and shattered! He makes all things new, and will turn the ugliest, most broken situation into something new and beautiful! All you have to do is genuinely repent, get on your knees with your spouse and ask God to forgive you for having sex outside of marriage. Ask Him to restore, and renew your relationship with Him and each other! "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." (Psalm 51:10)
If you are single, and have had pre-marital sex; ask God to forgive you and restore your sexual purity and He will!!! No matter what you have done in your past, God will forgive you!! He thinks you are beautiful, and precious.....He truly cherishes you! All things work together for good to them that love God (Romans 8:28)
I know couples who were not sexually pure when they got married, but because they are walking in obedience to Christ, and living for Him; have incredible marriages! Remember this; He makes all things new!
Love, and blessings!!
Danielle <3
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